By Sunday 
Because sometimes, you just need a guy who bites kneecaps and heals fan trauma at the same time.
Flashback: The Coaching Dark Ages
Once upon a time, being a Detroit Lions fan meant accepting pain as part of your personality. We’re talking about the kind of pain only Rod Marinelli, Matt Patricia, and Marty Mornhinweg could deliver. Lions fans didn’t just endure losing seasons — they earned emotional battle scars.
CBS Sports recently put out a list of the worst NFL head coaching hires over the last 25 years. Spoiler alert: Detroit dominated — but not in a good way. Three of our former head coaches landed in the top 10, making it less of a ranking and more of a trauma timeline.
- Matt Patricia came in at No. 9, but his 13-29-1 record barely tells the story. If awkward pencil-behind-the-ear energy could tank a franchise, Patricia proved it.
- Rod Marinelli, who gave us that historic 0-16 season, took the No. 10 spot. The only thing he coached better than football was nationwide despair.
- Marty Mornhinweg, bless him, ranked at No. 7. Two seasons. Five wins. 27 losses. And a legacy that lives on in cautionary tales whispered throughout Ford Field.
We were a masterclass in what not to do.
Enter Dan Campbell: Leader. Healer. Kneecap Enthusiast.
And then… came Dan.
When Campbell showed up talking about “biting kneecaps” and “punching adversity in the face,” everyone chuckled. But Lions fans? We felt that. We’d been through enough to know that we didn’t need another spreadsheet savant. We needed someone who’d cry in a post-game presser and mean it.
Dan Campbell did more than win games. He gave Detroit football its soul back.
He turned a team that was used to just surviving into one that expects to compete. That’s not just coaching — that’s emotional rehab. No wonder the rest of the NFL is side-eyeing the Lions, trying to copy Campbell’s blueprint. Culture. Grit. Accountability. Oh, and winning.
In fact, the Lions’ offense is now one of the most praised in the NFL, their roster loaded, and their fans finally wearing Honolulu blue without bracing for heartbreak.
For the Critics? Check the Rearview Mirror.
Look, if you’re a Lions fan and you ever catch yourself getting antsy about a play call or a fourth-down gamble… take a deep breath and remember: We once had three of the worst head coaches in recent NFL history. Three. In the same list.
Dan Campbell isn’t perfect. But compared to what we’ve endured, he’s practically a spiritual guide in a Lions hoodie. He’s not just building a winner — he’s exorcising demons from a generation of long-suffering fans.
So here’s to you, Coach Campbell — our emotional support coach. May your kneecap metaphors never dull, and may the Motor City ride this wave of hope all the way to a ring.